2024: American Education - Because Laughter is the Best Policy (Except Maybe for a Full Scholarship)
Well looks like the bullfrog beefed it and forgot to schedule this post to go out at the end of last month so as an catch up blog post enjoy!
Well, folks, another year in the books, and boy, was it a doozy for education in America! It was like someone spiked the curriculum with a potent cocktail of chaos, confusion, and a dash of "are you kidding me?"
Student Loans: The Gift That Keeps on Taking (Your Money)
Remember that whole student loan forgiveness thing? Yeah, about that... SCOTUS basically said, "Psych! Just kidding!" Millions of us were left doing the mental equivalent of that Spider-Man meme where they're all pointing at each other. Now, everyone's scrambling for Plan B, which mostly involves intense staring at lottery tickets and contemplating a career in professional TikTok dancing.
DEI: Can't We All Just Get Along (While Also Acknowledging Our Differences)?
Apparently not! The DEI debate raged on this year, making you wonder if some folks accidentally wandered into a time machine from the 1950s. Some folks were all about it, others were busy building bunkers and stockpiling "classic literature" (you know, the kind with zero diversity). Stay tuned for next year's episode: "DEI Strikes Back" (hopefully with more lightsaber battles and less actual fighting).
Enrollment: The Kids Are (Not) Alright
College enrollment went up overall, which is great, except for the tiny detail that freshman enrollment took a nosedive. It's like everyone decided to take a gap year...permanently. Maybe they heard about the FAFSA fiasco. That thing was smoother than a cheese grater covered in sandpaper. Seriously, trying to fill that out was like wrestling a caffeinated octopus while blindfolded.
The Future: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (and Maybe Some Educational Reform)
So, what's next? Who knows! But here are some educated guesses (pun intended):
Student Loan Forgiveness: The Remix: Expect more plot twists than a daytime soap opera. Maybe they'll tie student loan forgiveness to winning a hot dog eating contest. Stranger things have happened (probably).
DEI: The Sequel: Hopefully, this one involves more listening and less yelling. And maybe a catchy theme song.
FAFSA: Revenge of the Nerds: Someone needs to hire a team of actual user-friendly tech wizards to fix this thing. Until then, good luck, kids!
Enrollment: Back to School (Please?) Colleges might need to start offering free pizza and puppy cuddles to lure students back. Desperate times, desperate measures.
Despite all the craziness, let's not forget that education is still awesome (and essential). Here's to hoping 2025 brings a little less chaos and a lot more learning (and maybe some decent student loan relief, pretty please?).
That's a wrap for 2024, folks! See you back here on January 10th for more educational adventures (and hopefully less existential dread).
